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I'm her girlfriend. Is it really that difficult of a concept to understand?
A couple of weeks ago I came out to my parents, letting them know that I liked girls more than I liked guys. They were fine with it but my mom had a hard time understanding. It made me ecstatic, I was terrified that I would be ignored or punished for being who I am but my parents were actually fine with it. For a while I've liked this girl, she's smart, funny, hot as hell, honestly she's one of the most fantastic people I have ever met. Her name (for those of you that don't know) is Jordynne. And she's been my girlfriend since December 20. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom about her my mom's first question was.
"Well are you the boy?"
No. No I'm not. I'm a girl. And so is Jordynne. She is not my boyfriend nor am I her's. I am her girlfriend. And she is mine. And it bothers me that as soon as I bring up that I'm dating a girl some people immediately bring up "well which one is the guy?" NEITHER! We're both girls! One of my most hated misconceptions is that in every relationship with two females one acts like a boy. And although in some couples this is true, it is not the norm for every relationship. Just because I'm dating a girl does not mean I want to be a boy. I have no desire to change any part of who I am or who Jordynne is. Yes I am female. Yes I am dating a girl. And you know what? I still love shopping for dresses as much as I love wearing jeans. I still love playing video games as much as I love putting together a good outfit.  And I love talking to my girlfriend. Not my boyfriend. Every girl has some boy attributes, and every boy has some girl attributes. It goes both ways. But just because I'm in a relationship with another girl doesn't mean we need a guy. Honestly? I'm happier than I have ever been dating Jordynne. She's the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I don't need a boy. And I don't want her to be a boy. I don't want anything to change at all. I get it. I really do. Sometimes people just don't understand, and sometimes it just needs to be explained, but this is all I'm trying to say. I'm a girl. I'm dating a girl. And I have no wish to change any part of who I am, or who she is.
So to answer your question mom:
No. I'm not the boy, and neither is Jordynne. We're both girls. We're both in a relationship. And I don't want to change a single thing.
This is mainly just a rant on my feelings, I just had to get them out in the open.

My girlfriend broke up with me. But my stance on this issue remains the same.

:iconleblancearry: did a wonderful drawing of what I'm saying in this post [link]
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:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Student Writer
:iconbravoplz:
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconbowplz:
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:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Student Writer
Lovely joke! Hee hee!
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:iconfunsizedreesescup:
FunSizedReesesCup Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Goodness, I get asked this question so many times "so, who is the boy?" NEITHER.

I absolutely love my girlfriend. She is mine.
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for reading, I'm happy you found a girl that makes you happy^^
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:iconoh-my-kokoro:
oh-my-kokoro Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Amen to this. When I had a girlfriend at least 10 different people asked me wich one of us was ''the guy'' in our relationship :/ such a weird and stupid thing to ask.
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It is such an odd question, I understand wondering which person is dominant in a relationship but that doesn't make them "the guy".
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
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:iconvines-of-blood:
vines-of-blood Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2012
Im sorry to hear that yall broke up. But I hope that one day you will be the person who means the most to you. And that life doesnt become mundane but a great experience of joy and happiness because you can share it with them. :)
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:iconwhitexwinterxwolf:
WhitexWinterxWolf Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hehe. Naw. I know what you mean though. With me and my partner we act bit of both XD
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Balance is always best, I'm happy you two know what works for you^^
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
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:iconwhitexwinterxwolf:
WhitexWinterxWolf Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hehe. Too true. :3
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:iconkiboukumo:
KibouKumo Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Student
I have the same problem.
When my husband and I (man I even love just typing that) go out almost every time someone ask "who is the girl?" Or worse. "Who is top?"
Does it really matter?
Reply
:iconchibinaikoru:
ChibiNaikoru Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
a problem girls with girlfriends have all over the world, i understand and good on ye ^^
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you :3
Reply
:iconbotacochina:
botacochina Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Thank you for writing this
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
Reply
:iconschnee-fee:
Schnee-Fee Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student Filmographer
Well, I think they sometimes mean "Who's the dominant one that takes lead?" rather than "Who's the masculine one?" :B I mean, I know they don't mean to offend, so I simply correct a person who's somewhat ignorant of the situation.

Though, I wouldn't know that position. The world has an even harder time understanding that some of us lack a sexual drive and don't want sex at all in any point in their life, rather than being interested in the same sex. :shrug: The world would never be ready unless it becomes more prominent and normal for the age, for any kind of problem, I suppose.
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I do understand that sometimes they wonder who is the more dominant, however in the situation that I'm speaking of I was literally asked who is the boy. Not who is more dominant. And just the fact that I was compared to a male does offend me, however I understood the sentiment and explained my situation.

I don't understand why there is a need for sex, like you said if someone just doesn't want sex there is nothing wrong with that. Its all personal opinion. The world won't be ready until people just take a deep breath and calm down a bit.
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
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:iconschnee-fee:
Schnee-Fee Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student Filmographer
Ahhh. I was saying so because whenever I am in a relationship, for the most part, I am called the "male", even if I am with someone of the opposite side of my gender. I understand why it would offend you, though. I mean, I honestly don't see the need to be transgender when you like to be in your own skin with the people you love. I think it is just wrong. :|

Eeeeeeeeeeeeexactly my dilemma. The people I know personally don't understand that I am, in fact, asexual. They either say "You need to get laid" or "You'll change your mind eventually". Do I believe it? No. They do insist, however. =3=

Weeeeell... It'd take the same amount of effort women did to have rights and be able to wear less constraining and covering clothes. XD Or maybe more. But yes, people need to stop taking everything as the sign of the end of the world.

You're welcome!
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:iconlutraseider:
LutrasEider Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Too true.
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
Reply
:iconlutraseider:
LutrasEider Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Oddly, I find the gay community is just as guilty of this thinking/stereotyping as non-homosexuals, like to be "gay" you must abide by an agreed upon set of norms, or conform in some manner. Personally I find this a bit funny, the conformity that exists in alternative living--IT'S ALTERNATIVE! LOL!
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I don't really understand the point you're trying to make here. If I'm getting what you're saying then yes I'd say to an extent that yes certain stereotypes and misconceptions are true. But to be gay or straight you don't really have to conform. I wrote this piece to state something that bothered me not to conform or argue against any sort of conformity. I am me what I do and how I act whether they fall in line with conformities or not just happen.
But I respect your opinion- thank you for reading and commenting.
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:iconlutraseider:
LutrasEider Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
I think there may be something lost in translation between us, as I agree with your point. I was merely pointing out a quirk I find irksome, not a criticism of your argument.
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:iconrollinlol95:
Rollinlol95 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
If there's something i know is that people, especially the previous generations(aka our parents), aren't ready yet. People aren't ready for a lot of things and everything they have in their heads are preconceptions.
Anyway you putted very well your feelings and ideas in this rant, i hope everyone will understand you relationship with her^^
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
I just think its difficult for people to wrap their head around a situation that they just don't understand. I mean my mom has never really had an interest in other girls so she doesn't really understand why I do. But thank you for your insight :3
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:iconrollinlol95:
Rollinlol95 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome^^
Reply
:iconlucyfire71:
lucyfire71 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Just because I'm dating a girl does not mean I want to be a boy."...
" I don't need a boy. And I don't want her to be a boy."...

Your are so right!
Its the same old story, the prejudice... same sex - one part is ever the boy...
But this isn't true!

I am a girl, too.
And i have a girlfriend, too.
We both don't want to be boys...

Unfortunately, there are enough couples who use this stereotype.
There will always be so!

Nice story!
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! It's just a misconception, I just wish that people would understand its not the norm for every relationship. One day maybe people will get it :3
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:icondeventh:
Deventh Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good for you.; )
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you :3
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:iconhettybobcat:
HettyBobcat Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
It's a fantastic rant
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for reading :3
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:iconhettybobcat:
HettyBobcat Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
:3
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:iconjust-agu:
just-agu Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
I love how you thinking. And can't understand why people can think other way... That's not that hard to understand, they're just strange *sigh*
I talked about that with my mom. (Though she doesn't know that i'm bi and I'm dating a girl). She said it is okay for her that girls like girls or boys like boys, she just can't imagine being with that kind of relationship herself. But she never thought it SHOULD be some more boyish girl in two girls relationship..
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I just think that its harder for my mom to understand because she's never really known anything aside from the typical male/female relationship. Maybe she'll grow to understand one day.
Thank you for reading and commenting :3
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:iconjust-agu:
just-agu Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
no problem and hope she will..
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:iconclown-in-training:
clown-in-training Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
Congrats on coming out and I'm glad you have someone who makes you happy <3 :huggle:
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you! :iconaawplz:
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:iconclown-in-training:
clown-in-training Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
You're welcome :iconsweethugplz:
Reply
:icontamakiluv95:
tamakiluv95 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I, too, am pansexual, and have been dating the girl I love for seven months now. I came out to my mom when the two of us first started dating and she just didn't understand the fact that I could be attracted to more than one gender. She's told me she doesn't want me dating girls, so I've had to keep quiet about this girl since then. I'm so glad that your parents took it well, and I hope someday my parents will come to an understanding :iconbigheartplz:
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Awh, good luck with your mom, hopefully she'll come around sooner or later. Maybe she just needs some time to warm up to the idea. I hope everything works out for you~ :iconsuperheroglompplz:
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:icontamakiluv95:
tamakiluv95 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much :meow: I hope so too :iconsuperheroglompplz: Hehe I'ma use that all the time now ^ ^
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:iconpaperpiano:
PaperPiano Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
YOU GO GLENN COCO! :D
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
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:iconpaperpiano:
PaperPiano Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!! lol
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS!
xDD
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:iconpaperpiano:
PaperPiano Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
XD
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:icontakefujo:
Takefujo Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Student General Artist
I don't understand why people don't think that homosexuals can just have a normal relationship like anyone else. My mom forced me to tell her I was bisexual, under circumstances. I have no problem with myself, but she just seems to not understand that I am not some new being, just because I have no problem liking both.
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:iconcannibalcupcake:
CannibalCupcake Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm pansexual, and I was lucky that my parents didn't force me to tell them about my sexuality, I came out on my own. But sometimes they just need an explanation. My mom still doesn't understand but she's trying. Hopefully one day people will understand that love is love whether its a girl or a guy or a chicken. It doesn't matter. I wish you luck with your mom and I'm always here to talk if you need someone~
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